Sunday, August 12, 2012

I am not a...5-star Horticulturalist

Sometimes, you just have to share something that makes you laugh, even if you don't know what to make of it!

My husband is really good at finding awesome things on Craigslist.  He's great about scanning the listings and discovering some item that we just have to add to our collection of collections.  And, every once in awhile, he will stumble on a particularly creative, funny or weird post.  I am not exactly sure how to classify this post, but it made me laugh!

Folks, how many times have you gazed forlornly at your sad and sorry roses and thought to yourself, "How I yearn for a few dried cow patties* to rouse and revive them!"?

Ah, well, your wishes CAN come true! 
 Yes, I have risked chiggers, heatstroke, and a vast array of spiders to provide you with a bag of all-natural cow manure. And this didn't come from just any old herd--these are special Gelbvieh/Limousin cows--loved and petted at Prairie Springs Cottage; why there is even a lovely one named Erma!

Munching on Flint Hills grass, drinking from spring-fed (soon-to-be-brackish) pond-water, and nibbling a bit of George Ebert's hay (Hey! We're in a drought if you haven't noticed!), these cows have ruminated and digested (and expelled) a perfect, pretty-much-organic, fertilizer just for you.

Despite barbwire tearing a hole in my shirt, a grasshopper thwacking my eye, and enduring the thrumming of hovering Chinooks, I am still willing to give you a tremendous bargain: $8.00 for a pillowcase-sized bag; cash only.
On second thought, all of you should get off your lazy duffs and get it yourselves--maybe you too would get to see one of these little endangered horny toads, become 'one' with nature, and have an all 'round great day...!

*disclaimer: I am not an Herbivorologist, a Poopologist, nor a 5-star Horticulturalist--I have no idea how much to put on roses--google it yourself, please.

No comments: